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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Now, let’s chat ‘bout the neighborhoods. The old bricks of Vieux Quartier tell tales of yore with every crack. I mean, the vibes are strong here; add in the gentle melody of the river L’Ore (yep, that’s our river, flowin’ near the community center on Rue du Presbytère) and you’ll get that serene, yet kinda edgy, feel.